Have you ever seen a little toddler throw a fit?

Stomping up and down, flailing their arms around, and

Well, I watched a woman respond to Alice In Chains that way
last night, and it was awesome.

She didn’t do it the whole show as far as I know, but as I
was up in the balcony checking out a few songs I did some quality people
watching, and she was hard to miss.

It was during Last Of My Kind when I noticed her right down
front, and she was really getting into it.

Then she transitioned from banging her head and pumping her
fists to jumping up and down like she was stomping grapes. Or trying to kill a
large snake that had slithered into the show.

A lot of people jump up and down, but this was different.
There was a definite force to it.

She also began to take both of her arms and rock them in
unison from her shoulders down to her waist. Kind of like a judge banging a
gavel with both hands at the same time, or maybe more like a clenched-fist
two-handed karate chop.

All of these actions together basically made it look like a
grown woman was throwing a fit during an Alice In Chain show, and it was a
joyous display to watch.

As this was going on, there was a guy right in front of her
who was having his own response to the song.

He was really getting into it too, but the best part was
that at one point he just turned his back to the band for a minute or two.

He was dancing around and playing air guitar, and then
suddenly it was like he got so caught up in the moment that he forgot which
direction the band was in.

It’s hard sometimes to paint a word picture that can
properly convey what I witness on a nightly basis, but hopefully you can see in your mind’s eye
what I saw last night, because it was great.

A woman on the aisle of row two, practically triggering
seismic activity with the force of which she was stomping the ground, and the
guy on the rail in front of her who pretty much decided mid-song that watching
the band wasn’t nearly as important as turning 180 degrees and giving the rest
of Portland a free lesson in the fundamentals of air guitaring.

And as all of this is happening, I’m up in the balcony also
watching a couple of guys a few rows in front of me who are behaving like
they’re watching Kanye instead of Cantrell.

Picture the classic hip hop move where you bend your knees
just a bit and throw your hands in the air and wave ‘em like you just don’t

Well, two dudes in Portland were doing that last night
during Down In A Hole.


I’ve seen all kinds of responses and reactions to Alice In
Chains, and I love the fact that I still see new stuff from time to time.

People who watch and study birds are called Ornothologists.

I study and watch the people who come to Alice In Chains

I feel like this deserves a title of its own, so I’m
officially giving myself an honorary doctorate in Aliceology.

Hopefully my dissertation on Aliceology will encourage you
to not only come out to a show, but also persuade you to watch your fellow
Alice In Chains fans in their natural habitat,

The odds may not be good that you’ll witness a functioning
member of society lose their mind and stomp the living s%@* out of a concrete
floor, but you’re bound to see something entertaining.